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The One-Sentence Paragraph

I've been reading a lot of artciles online lately and finding my attention wanders slightly when there are long paragraphs. These paragraphs can be anywhere from four to fourteen sentences long, bursting with elphantine vocabulary words and intricate arguments. Sometimes they meander aimlessly, taking twists and turns through forests of em dashes -- dark forests -- and valleys of ellipses... which cause my mind to wander. There goes my brain. Is that a monkey peeing into its own mouth? What is the problem with our society that we find this stuff interesting? I wonder if my grandparents sometimes can't even recognize today's America as the country they grew up in. I'm no prude, but I really think that some of the stuff they put on TV is just uncalled for. Like those Real Housewives shows. Women scratching and hair-pulling and flipping tables. That's no way to act on national televison! Yet the audience share is so small now, that I doubt hardly anyone who isn't "plugged in" would even know where to find a show like that. Anyway, I often find myself subconciously clicking through articles or scrolling to the end of the page, waiting for something to capture my attention.

Which is why, I presume, God created the one-sentence paragraph.

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